poopsiedoodle

Back when I was about 13 I was diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder. The massive amounts of anxiety that I have tend to center around my worries about being an inconvenience and, recently, family members dying. I don’t take anything for it because I have worked with therapists in the past on methods to get around it. Unfortunately, most of those methods are primarily distractions and leave the problem to later come out of hiding and bite me in the ass.

When I went in for surgery, the nurses were concerned because although I looked fine on the outside, my pulse was jumping between about 80 and 120 with no pause or warning. It was changing so drastically that my blood pressure didn’t even have time to catch up.

After a fender bender I started trembling uncontrollably and sat in my car in the oarking lot for an hour because going in to walk the dog was too overwhelming.

I started a new job last month. This Monday I was ten minutes late because of a traffic accident and I got so upset that I had trouble breathing most of the day.

Due to my fears of inconveniencing others, I have gotten really good at faking it. So good in fact that most people think my anxiety problems are either miniscule or don’t exist. So yeah. I dunno what the point of this post is. I want to relax. I think I might need drugs. I don’t know how to fix it.